Sunday, June 09, 2013

It's a Semi-Miracle

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Now you all know of course that Jesus and Mary have been making the rounds lately all over the place, most recently in Chicago. They've been on grilled cheese sandwiches, domes, and freeway underpasses... This got me to thinking seriously about my own religious experience, so I decided to explore my house for signs of anything godlike. To my surprise, I found this...


As you can see, the brick clearly doesn't match the rest of the house. Jeff said it was because the previous owners removed a milk chute, but I know better.
Then, I found this...

On an old coffee table. If you squinch your eyes real tight and then open them over and over again real fast, you'll see what I mean.

Now THIS was down in the basement in my daughter's room...

We just finished building that room last summer and that's new drywall. Both girls swear they didn't do it, so I'm thinking it was divine intervention right there.

Now some of you may think that these pictures have been a bit ambiguous, and I'm willing to admit that they leave a little to the imagination, but I dare you to argue the merits of this next batch.

First, we have this...

A window shade in my bedroom that has a stain on it from the roof leaking during the last mega ice thaw. Surely, you can see the outline of Mary's veil.

And this...

Is a picture of a slat in my fence around my pool on my deck. Any idiot can see that Jesus is on it! Look at the middle!

I tried very hard to find something spiritual in this picture of my grandkids

but it just made me hungry. So I went on to study this one...

and I'll be damned if I didn't say "Oh God" right out loud!

I don't want a bunch of you zealots coming over with chainsaws to try and take my fence slat, let me just be clear about that. I'm fairly sure Jesus decided to hang out there for a reason and I won't allow him to be disturbed, at least until I get the pool up and running for the season.

If I can get my builder, Bob, to agree to remove that particular slat and replace it free of charge, then I'll consider putting it up on e-Bay and you can have at it.

I hope I have inspired all of you to look for signs in your own home, and remember, cleanliness is next to godliness.


Comments:
ooh i can see this *inspiring * me to do a blog of my own!!
fabulous!an i can so see jesus in the wood! xx


*inspiring=copy* lol :)
 

that may be the funniest thing I've read in a long time!
 

Emma - you can see Jesus's wood ?!
Praise be!!
 

Bwahahahaha!! I saw Jesus the other day when I squirted blue toilet bowl cleaner into the toilet. So that cleanliness thing...so true.
 

How odd. The Johnny Depp one just made me hungry, too.

Hope you have checked my recent entries because the day the Blessed Virgin appeared in the overpass, I found a miraculous Cheeto.
 

emma, I'm so happy for you! Inspiration is sorta godly.
Melina, You shouldn't laugh at the lord.
Richard, I was wondering about that very thing...
War, I hope you captured the moment on film.
GW, I must admit, your cheeto blows away my wood slat, but I'm pretty sure jesus frowns on competitions like that.
 

Kim, that was mui fabuloso!
Okay, well I clearly do not speak that language, but you get the jist, right?
 

Damn...I must be going to hell...I got no signs! I found one dead B-52--looks just like a dead B-52.... I'll try again tomorrow.
 

Going to search my house for signs right now.

Does this mean I have to clean?? Please tell me it isn't so!
 

Is this like one of those "Honk if you see Jesus" bumper stickers? Cuz if it is I can't find the horn button on this thing! :)

Great post Kim

DB
 

LMAO
 

My vote is for the babies!! Jesus is right there all the way I see it! Great!
 

Okay, so you lock your daughters in the basement, then seem surprised when you find a hole's been kicked/punched in the drywall? Um, okay.

And don't worry about the zealots taking your Jesus plank, Kim. They'll leave it in place and declare your home a holy shrine, which will of course necessitate the removal of all heathens from the area. I hope you have a place to crash ;)

Phil
http://nomadechoes.blogdrive.com
 

I'm off with the camera in tow around my house right after I type this and right after I have a few drinks. I tend to see things in a different light then.

Thanks for the really great belly laugh this evening!
 

HAHA the hole int he wall is totally Jesus. Maybe it's just because I'm mhigh, but I totally see it. Jesus once kicked a hole in my wall... Seriously, I didn't do it.
 

The bidding will now start at....
 

that is great!
 

Hi. This is my first comment, though I've been reading for a while. Really funny stuff. You have a great sense of humor, and a knack for telling stories.

Oh, and I can totally see Mary in your curtains. Praise be!
 

Hallelujah! Praise the lord! Testify!
 

I enjoyed the irony this post immensely, but the part that really got to me was the milk chute. Having spent a good portion of my young life in North Olmsted, Ohio, I actually know what a milk chute is. Down south, the milk was delivered to a metal container at your doorstep that always had an incredibly putrid smell inside of it. The milk chute—which I think is more of a northern invention—was more creative, not to mention practical.

Posting from “God’s Country” …Germany. LOL
 

Kim, I have the Pope on the phone (he wouldn't dare ring your house), wants to know if he can bring a tour bus of pilgrims and whether you're going the standard 50/50 on entrance fees with the church? Cha-ching!

Hallelujah and all that as well!
 

I never really believed that Jesus existed.

Until now. And for that Kim, I thank you. :)
 

Wow, that was hilarious. And inspired. Maybe I really do believe in Jesus...
 

http://thegooberqueen.blogspot.com/2005/04/they-just-suck-fun-out-of-everything.html

And why the hell not??? (How about if you shout it out repeatedly??)
 

This was the funniest thing i have read in a long tme!

Amanda
http://argblog.typepad.com/milkshakejunkie
 

BUT if Johnny Depp wanted to come over and remove a slice of your fence...well, that would be okay, wouldn't it?

And would you invite me over to watch?

And would you remind him of the "no shirts by the pool" rule?
 

lol.except for the fence post. everyone knows THAT one's the God's Honest truth. :)
 

I was going to clean my house this weekend but now I think I'll just wait and see if any Holy Pictures show up in the dust. I feel called to do this.

Okay, I wasn't really planning to clean but now I have an excuse.

I think there might have been an image of Daffy Duck on a piece of toast this morning but before I could list it on Ebay, my husband ate it.
 

creepy! The brick reminds me of the basement wall in the Amityville Horror!
 

Too funny!
 

*bows in admiration*
You are truely blessed.
 

LOL Nice post, kim. :)
 

Oh my gosh - you are too funny. Too cute. Glad I found this blog.
 

LOL
 

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