Sunday, June 09, 2013

It's a Semi-Miracle

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Now you all know of course that Jesus and Mary have been making the rounds lately all over the place, most recently in Chicago. They've been on grilled cheese sandwiches, domes, and freeway underpasses... This got me to thinking seriously about my own religious experience, so I decided to explore my house for signs of anything godlike. To my surprise, I found this...

As you can see, the brick clearly doesn't match the rest of the house. Jeff said it was because the previous owners removed a milk chute, but I know better.
Then, I found this...

On an old coffee table. If you squinch your eyes real tight and then open them over and over again real fast, you'll see what I mean.

Now THIS was down in the basement in my daughter's room...

We just finished building that room last summer and that's new drywall. Both girls swear they didn't do it, so I'm thinking it was divine intervention right there.

Now some of you may think that these pictures have been a bit ambiguous, and I'm willing to admit that they leave a little to the imagination, but I dare you to argue the merits of this next batch.

First, we have this...

A window shade in my bedroom that has a stain on it from the roof leaking during the last mega ice thaw. Surely, you can see the outline of Mary's veil.

And this...

Is a picture of a slat in my fence around my pool on my deck. Any idiot can see that Jesus is on it! Look at the middle!

I tried very hard to find something spiritual in this picture of my grandkids

but it just made me hungry. So I went on to study this one...

and I'll be damned if I didn't say "Oh God" right out loud!

I don't want a bunch of you zealots coming over with chainsaws to try and take my fence slat, let me just be clear about that. I'm fairly sure Jesus decided to hang out there for a reason and I won't allow him to be disturbed, at least until I get the pool up and running for the season.

If I can get my builder, Bob, to agree to remove that particular slat and replace it free of charge, then I'll consider putting it up on e-Bay and you can have at it.

I hope I have inspired all of you to look for signs in your own home, and remember, cleanliness is next to godliness.